HealthLinks Upstate Sept/Oct 2022

28 | www.Ups tatePhys i c i ansSC . com | www.Hea l thL i nksUps tate. com Good boundaries allow us to step into our integrity and show up with greater compassion. When we live a life without them, “we are not really showing up with our most generous, loving self” because we are not able to, said Kathy Yahr. The heart of boundary setting is realizing what’s OK and what’s not OK, as described by Brené Brown, best-selling author and shame researcher. Communicating our true desires is an act of service in itself because “when we say yes to something we don’t want, it can be a disservice to ourselves and others,” said Yahr. This can lead to negative feelings such as resentment of the task, ourselves or the people around us. Yahr employs this model for recognizing personal limits with her patients at Still Point, a counseling and therapy practice in Mount Pleasant. “I try to help people get in touch with what is OK and not OK for them,” said Yahr, who helps them learn how to identify those parameters and the language to communicate them. As a therapist and as a person, she helps others establish really good boundaries, as we can, too, for people in our lives. For example, she communicates to her patients that it is OK with her – although it may sound horrifying to other therapists – for them to text to her personal phone number, at any time, with scheduling information. Continuing to define the boundary, what is not OK with her is using this line of contact to divulge personal information. Yahr finds that when she sets good boundaries and people respect them, she feels happy and giving, in line with Brown’s findings that the most compassionate people have the best boundaries. In the rare instances Yahr feels angry, the first thing she has learned to do is stop and ask herself what boundary has been crossed: “I can always identify where either I didn’t set a boundary or someone has crossed a boundary that I’ve set.” When enforcing your own boundaries, vocalize how it would make you feel if a person violated that boundary. Share your own values and recognize the intentions of the other person. You can validate what is true for both of you and describe how respecting the boundary will positively serve you and the relationship. “ “ Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others. - Brené Brown HOLISTIC HEALTH OF THE CAROLINAS Our experienced holistic health practitioner specializes in naturopathic, functional medicine and herbal healing. We are proud to provide a high quality level of customer service, medical experience, and commitment to health and wellness to all our patients. We focus on your entire wellbeing, not just your symptoms. We are here to help, and our goal is to make you feel better as quickly as possible. Functional Medicine & Holistic Health Practice 1040 Fernwood Glendale Road #58, Spartanburg, SC 29307 864.707.5323 | Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner Ask About our Hormone Therapy and Weight-loss Programs and IV Hydration Therapy In Person and Virtual Wellness Visit